Reflection - 230805

There's something wrong with me, for I am certain
It just seems that life for me have lost all directions

Regardless the empty feeling that lingers within me
I guess there maybe nothing in me to being with...

Everything I learnt of feels so unrealistic and fragile
Sometimes I just hope to awaken and find myself in Utopia

Misery loves company as in drama they potray
Guess I rather sulk alone sit in the corner and pray

Lotsa ppl seek religion for their eventual enlightenment
For me, logic, reasonings and arguments?

Many will just comment on my pessimisium as being redundant
I think they are right but I havent yet found out my answer

My Way or the Highway

My thoughts are always in a blur
With the world's equilibrum in a confusing swirl
I write things that are so confusing
Even I myself dont find it convincing
Have to file down my horrendous english
Just to learn to speak your language

p/s: use simply words for better understanding and clarity

PatriX

Year 3 Semester 1 - What has become of me?

Time flashes pass so ever quickly, just like the mathematical equations that "insane" scientist conjured up. They can derive all sorts of measurements from area dimensions to speed and time and space, since they are so smart, how come no one yet able to measure happiness?

Blink of an eye, I forge onwards the 3rd year of my University journey ... looking back in my 3 years of poly days, everything feels so transient. What had I done during my younger academic years? Only some will know, little will remember and nobody cares. Looking back at nonchalent and carefree times, was I happier then?

Alike the Titanic, the maiden voyage of love sunk many dreams and shook the world just like how mine was affected. Not all is lost, from it, slowly gathered back a new me, bestowed with strengths and virtues I never had. Even after the subsequent loss of another love, I guess the immunity kicked in ... till now, I still dun know why but does it matter?

The semester feels rather lighter frm previous initial ones. At least the 3 years spent havent really went the drain ... I miss the lectures, the atmosphere, the laughters, my KFC tutorial group, my girl (love, hate, reminisce, whatever). As of now, without the hectic schedules, theres a sense of emptiness as though I have too much time on hand.... For those who know me, I am not the studious type but I dun realli like rotting away at home too.

Too much time on hand, duno where to spend. There were initial thoughts of getting involved in some ECA but whenever I am reminded that I am supposed to "WAYANG" just like how I hate to when in green, the urge just diminish. Like a typical hormone raging teen, when lonliness kiks in, he seeks for companionship. Just like fiction and comedies, I had my fair share of the see-saw events where reliving the moments can literally jerk tears (joy or sorrow, I dun know).

Once potrayed as passionate, patriotic and prancing currently laid back, lazy and loathing. A person alias "Spears" commented once that blogs should write about the happy things. I wonder why I am the direct inverse? Too much time, no where to spend? Have to go out and expose myself more to the world?

To be the majority, you gotta participate in their activities
Staying with the minority, you will gain only sympathy
How about feeling happy? Do we have wear thy masks?
For my heart belongs to nobody, not now, not then, till ashes to dust

Light up my life

Was sitting on the tarred pavement of marina bay on the eve of my country's 40th year independance. With the rapid progression of our ancestors and their "never say die" spirit, we proved the region wrong and displayed our mettle showing the red dot is worth their salt. Getting back, patriotic as ppl may name me ... I am sincere and honoured to have underwent 23 years with my nation but today, I was there for the flares.

I saw fellow participants gearing up with equipment that even put the broadcasting stations to shame. There they were setting up their tripods, erecting the camera that eye up into the dark skies whilst exchanging views on getting the best shots and their previous achievements of "that day I went siloso beach and clicked at the bit**hes..." Well, one thing is for sure the main agenda on everyone's mind was 12 midnite (fireworks display)

5...4....3...2.....1....... fountains, i really mean fountains of sparkles lit the opposite bays across my shore. With the rhythm of our anthem, the public was welcomed with candles they had awaited on the DIY benches and tables they brought along and couples on the soft cushion on each other's embrace. Then and there, everyone was entralled and immersed within the bustling ambience.

From the silos it is flung into the air, running its own race to the vast open heavens awaiting for the right place and time, showing what it is made off, exploding the beauties and sparkles that had been emplaced within. Years or maybe months of preparations on that particular rocket from mining of the gunpowder to the chonograph of the fireworks display, its then and there just for a split second its purpose had been fulfilled. To amaze, to entertain, to churn out the "woos and Ahhs".

Events will fall into place ... just have to wait for the right day, right place, right time. Even if its just for a moment, I wont mind burning out. As long as you see who I really am, who I truly am ... To be able to answer myself for not wasting the resources that have been put into me since infant years till now, not forsaking the love and care from my family, earning my place as a trusted, loyal, sometimes rather destructive friend ... Light up the skies

With the celebrations over, actually majority will forsake another beautiful sight .... the clouds and misty heavens. Everything calm with the dust clearing and the air silent, cinders and ashes settle back with gravity ... Take sometime to look into oneself and appreciate. For the best thing in life aint the evetually accomplishment of the target/event/goal but the journey towards it and the aftermath that really touches the heart.

You Light up my Life...

PatriX

Rule Number 1

My thoughts are always in a blur
With the world's equilibrum in a confusing swirl
I write things that are so confusing
Even I myself dont find it convincing
Have to file down my horrendous english
Just to learn to speak your language

p/s: use simply words for better understanding and clarity

PatriX