Confused

Into the wee hours, I dragged myself up from the comforts of my sheets to the keyboard and screen. Its the dino, that never ever spare my pleas for peaceful sleep. There has always been the point which one will have to adjust him/herself to adapt the environment, never try to change someone else or the environment to suit yourself. Maybe the last few years, I've been too religiously following that rule until now even my sleeping hours have to be adapted to my brother. Oh come ON! Its annoying when I've got to keep giving way, I am losing my privacy and own personal space.

Growing up is a phase of self discovery where much personal space is desired, and right now someone is invading it right under my roof. Cant be blamed, not his fault... more like mine because I am a light sleeper and he snores like thunder!

The last few weeks have been rather unique, why do I say that? Its because I've dabble myself into other activities. Reading up all sorts of nonsense ranging from fiction to investments, getting out long lost friends mapping back the connections that have been lost since ages ago. Picking up new contents during my internship not mentioning surfing of alot of IT material which I've never done in my life previously. Have been thinkin of getting a diving license, but shall see how things lead on.

A journey to self discovery I guess. After 25 plus years of very result orientated living, its seems to me, I am very accustomed to see results upon working on an area. Be it academic assignments / exams, physical training even relationships (not BGR alone, but also friendship). Feels like living in an environment where 1% inspiration, 99% prespiration.

Recently... or more like these 2 years been feeling rather lost. The whinings, bitchings and complains always follow along but after all the venting life still had to continue. Many a times, I feel the whole world is pressing against my chest to live up the template of a "successful" adult. Equipped with the necessary Cs to live out a comfortable life. I've tried asking around opinions to what is living but the answers never quenches instead leaves me with a emptier heart. Maybe its the way I post the questions, maybe its how the world should work, maybe I am wierd.

I never ever liked to waste... therefore time is of the essence, how can anyone waste it. Wasting life away is not an option, we or more like I live only once, after this miserable/pleasurable exisitance what's there to come? I am not sure if what I am thinkin is right, but I know many will just find me erratic and crazy. I know I may lose some friends in this process even? But who is more impt? Me or the rest of the world?

Should I be selfish? Or is this world selfish enough already?

PatriX