When I was 19

During a chat with Shaun, suddenly "Shaolin Soccer" came into the picture and my... did that movie mark a checkpoint in my life. Have to rewind time back to 5 - 6 years ago when I was 19+ awaiting for NS enlistment. I vividly remember it was like 1 plus week before going Tekong, my relationship was on the rocks and already gearing up for the worst to happen.

Let's get back to the movie, why I said it entrenched in my mind is it was the last picture I had with Catherine. The last time I looked straight into her eyes, the first time tears welled up in mine. It was more like a "showdown" which supposely to be held after the movie, but as we know Patrick always had a rash nature can really keep his nerves was anxious to know the verdict(damn, I was like literally begging to be taken back). Of course, everyone knew what happen next... The uprising and aspiring girl had to remove any excess baggage which may hinder her advancement into the soceity.

I was dropped, so did my heart... torn and disappointed I turned around and shuffle slowly away. Oh yeah! still have the 2 "Shaolin Soccer" tickets in my hand, so like a gentleman or more like a miser dowan to waste the ticks, I asked her if she still want to watch the movie. Guess she was like heck it lar... its time to rejoice with a free status and she obliged the so called "death wish" of this chap. Suprisingly, I was roaring with laughter throughout the movie... of course I stole a peek at her at times and I saw the puzzled n maybe scared look on her face. Come to think of it, cannot blame her, aint this the guy who just lost his puppy love, how can he be laughing so heartily, has he lost it? No, I did not... I rem coming till the end of the movie, I was flooded with mixed feelings and emotions. The movie was a comedy, I knew it was my last movie, I knew it will be the last time I'll be this close to her, I knew walking out means no more goodbyes.

Exiting the theatre, we parted and went seperate ways. En route back up to the MRT platform of CCK, I checked the hp SIM card we applied together and stumbled across some of her undeleted SMS. There and then I was faced with messages of concern, flirtatious content by another close guy friend of hers. Well, like a hot blooded reckless kid... I was furious, maybe more like mental break already. I exited from the MRT station and advnace towards her place instead.

Reaching her void deck, I finally cracked. Never had I realised I've got such powerful vocals as I sent my voice thundering across the neighbourhood. Like a manic, I shouted up to her place(lucky she stayed 2nd floor only) and I was "greeted" with a persplex face with a crumpled face of anxiety, confusion and sadness? Yes, yes... she aint that heartless, I hope, but who knows? I just vented, released and exploded there and then. The only verse I rem was "So what do you want from me!" I was so pissed off... tried to salvage the relationship which most probably I was too boring and the realtionship's expiry date was up hahaha.

I could feel the surge of adrenaline in my body I could tear anything apart. Like a cockster, I swang my fist and met the metal pillar. Boy, did the platform's roof shook... and the aftermath, I was awarded with bruised knuckles for 2 weeks. So after taking a hit, hand cannot take it liao... but cannot lost face cause lost enough liao, i dashed off and sprinted towards home. Hoping the lactic acid will kick in and endomorphines ease my pains. Everyone knows I was a fat kid then... and meeting up the citeria of an obese chap, I managed only less than 400 metres!!! before my legs wobbled and lost my breathe, mind and knuckles.

To wrap things up, like actors in the movies I bought myself a pint of alcoholic beverage. Gulped the contents down, upon reaching home ended up with hangover. I was like "bedridden" with a splitting migrain and unstable legs due to the effects of alcohol and the "sprinting" dragged myself to the toilet bowl juke to puke.

Ahh... how it was like to live the yesteryears. Getting the incident back into my mind, this chap is so hilarious! Many will have heart wrenching endings but mine was more like comic relief. Under-estimating of own strength, stamina still wana act hero. But from ther, I realised I could shout and the tingling sensation over adrenaline overload which got me thru NS. No wonder I signed on.

Let this be a story for me to remember and remind... Love is like a game, but most of the time I am the prey. Whatever....

PatriX