"I want every soldier that comes under my command to feel that they have learnt something during their 2.5 years and it wasn't a total complete waste of time"

I made that statement during my uniformed-days and did my best to live up to it.

My short adventure in Healthcare reminded me of the joy and satisfaction to engage and nurture talent. A hiring spree saw the Department headcount going up from 5 to 16pax in six months. Reminiscing my own greenhorn days many-a-time dazed and lost... those memories compelled me to bring the newcomers under my wing. Those kids amazes me with their talent and determination ! As an old guard, I hope my advices, nagging and revelation of un-spoken rules and hierarchy helped them ease into the Corporate world too.

I enjoy watching people grow. I enjoy watching my daughters grow.

2 months as an Educator, Teenage students now grow around me. They are energetic, curious yet cautious. Going to class akin to going to a Cat Cafe. You in their territory, they observe you, size you up and it is up to them if they approach.

It is an art to get the attention of my students, for them to pick up knowledge or life skills during my lessons. Just like my relentless pursuit of academic credentials, it is timely for me to refine interaction skillset. 

Reflecting back, I appreciate my teachers / mentors whom have imparted wisdom, cheered, spited and celebrated my growth.

"I want every student to realize that they have learnt something during my lessons and it wasn't a total complete waste of time"

To Lead

The car engine throttled down and came to rest, parked, we have reached the usual Saturday lunch spot. Just another weekend lunch at Paya Lebar area which we parked the Caren at Paya Lebar Square. Being familiar with the car park, I took the safest and least vehicular traffic route towards the life lobby.

A Parent (Father in my case) has a moral responsibility to protect and guide his family, especially physical safety. So it was part of my job to lead them towards safe zones. Weekly visits allowed me to observe traffic patterns, driving habits, outlay and trying out routes to get the best way around the carpark.

Turning my head back, I saw the girls followed me towards the lobby like cute smiling Labradors :) They feel safe and happy with Alpha.

Carpark navigation suddenly made me thought about Leadership… Qualifications and Intent

Qualifications 

Most common is Leadership by example. Babies mimic their parents and guardians, kids learn from teachers, teens see what their friends do, adults follow their idols and old folks ramble about about how good they were in their prime.

Everyone has been and CAN be a Leader.

The above statement is so inspiring but laced with danger because i have witnessed much “Blind Leading The Blind”. Overconfidence, Inexperience, Incompetency (The Dunning-Kruger effect) are common which results in negative outcomes and relationships. 

First there must be a Team in order for Leaders to perform their desired roles. Empathy and Trust are the 2 most important factor to me when it comes to forming a team. Other than extrinsic motivation, Trust is strong bonding agent for all the members. It is up to the Leader to find, establish and sustain the trust level as long as it is required for accomplishment of the objective(s). Empathy is the foundational trait that will allow members to recognize the varying reasons or requirement to establish the trust in different members. A Deputy can always fill in the Leader on the varying motivation factors within the Team.

Intent

You got to answer the WHY before even starting on any task right ? "Begin with an End in mind" the famous Stephen Covey said... as an ethic Chinese I learnt "做人要有始有终" 

Leaders determine the speed and direction of the pack, therefore it is critical that they believe in the mission at task. Anyone can go with the flow and sail the winds of fortune but it is when the chips are low, they would need to rally the members to hang on and dig deep together as one. Yet so many times, we have seen Senior Leadership(s) bale out, point fingers and pushing ppl under the bus.

Belief, Faith, Motivation could just be some of the factors that fuel the intent. Never giving up, Never Surrender ! A ship is not as nimble as a sole runner to change its course. There must be sustainable amount of "fuel" to sustain Intent for the Leader and Team. 

A crucial deciding factor when I choose to follow is if my Leader has "Skin in the game"

The little things in life... I have crossed enough roads to qualify as my Family's designated Car-Park leader =)

My new Superpower

A Primary school teacher charted out my education path many years back:

- Primary School 6 years

- Secondary 4 years

- JC 2 years

The horrors of studying for another 12 when i was only 10 !

Studious is never a descriptive I held for myself, now at 43... i kinda invested 20 years which is 1/2 my life studying (primary -> secondary -> poly -> uni -> post grad dip -> masters). I gotta flex this achievement of mine abit.

It was a coaching session i attended when i was 29, the session was amazing... the trainer just had to talk and engage, banter or joke with the trainees to keep us awake. I thought to myself "This looks like something I wanna do in the future".

I always enjoyed connecting with people, share my experience and impart knowledge to my audience.

It was a seed that was planted many many years ago.

This week marks my 1st month as a Lecturer

Looking at blank faces, uninterested expressions at the first class definitely aint the best welcome but with the gradual interactions, the students are warming up to me. Teaching in ITE feels like engaging kittens at a cat cafe.

Approach too fast, even the curious one may scamper away. If you just sit there waiting, the students wont even make any efforts to know you since I am in their territory. One has gotta earn the trust and approach these chillax "kittens"

My first lesson was just so memorable.

Slides prepared, Lesson plan charted, rehearsed and equipment all set up. Students streamed in gradually on time too.

"Good Morning Class, I will be teaching you Design Thinking for this term ..." at this moment, *poof*

Power Trip! Projector was out ....and it stayed out for the next 1 hour.

If I told you i have prepared for Murphy, I'll be a lying yet Life has prepared me well, despite the technical issues i managed to keep my cool and just transited to a practical activity instead.

As experience builds up with the lessons, I kinda gotten the hang of the tempo and requirements.

As an academic staff, everything I do now is for the students and the conduct of my lessons. No more barrage of emails and mindless meetings to attend to.

I would have never dared venture to this milestone if not because of Amber's statement "You like to talk to people, why dont you teach back at ITE" Thanks to my superwoman, I have a new Superpower now

you can call me "Cher~"

What do I want in life

全世界不相信你都不用紧

重要的是要相信你自己

The Equation Is Complete

30 July 12 marked another milestone in my life!
The Arrival of CHEE JING YUN

I've never been a maths genius, but it just could be a coincidence I have JX / JY in my life to compensate the lousy differciation techniques during my schooling days. 

Parenthood was again reset with the arrival of our new born, but this time up the difficulty level, from a NORMAL to NIGHTMARE mode (for those diablo gamers) sometimes even going up to HELL mode

Thanks for JX, this time round, we are much more experienced. The administration and logistic planning was seamless (credits to Amber, who is so dedicated and capable). But there were some surprises too! As a XIAO LONG NU, we recieve the Golden Dragon Sculpture as the 888th dragon to arrive at TMC


I guess many do envy my lifestyle even as a father, I still get to do my personnel staff and time while able to manage the 2 toddlers and still able to embark onto a new career. 

Dynamic Duo in XY launcher

 Just very grateful I have a supportive and fantastic wife who has so selflessly given her all for the family... time, career, sleep... My mum who always been my care-giver since young and now still nursing the younger generation and most importantly me and my wife. Of course all my family members who I feel sometimes bring JX GAIGAI too much but it gives me moments of sanity (which I am eternally grateful)

See you soon~!

The new journey for the four of us wouldnt be a ride in the park but I know its only temporary, because when the young tot starts to crawl and blabber, its where the joy will compensate for all those sleepless nights, merlion days =)

 

The story has just begun

Alwayz,

pat

Happy Father Day

Old habits die hard, and as usual, the post would kick off with a question which I would try to answer:

How did you spend Fathers' Day?

Norms are fathers would be commemorated and idolised today =)  Maybe when the family is slightly more matured with the kid potty trained, eloquent communications and reasoning skills.... then I can experience 9pm drama or movie screen father day treatment.  Suprises, gifts, relaxing backrubs complemented by gourmet spreads and concluded by a simple "I Love You" || "You are the best"

Till that day comes, lets just say I am investing in my future =)


Sing / Dance class @One Rochester


The morning kicked off with Greece knocking Russia out of the next stage earning me a casting opportunity in Dawn of the dead.

Breakfast was a breeze when JX learnt how to lick jam off toast and pick up crumbs frm the floor whilst managing consistent "threats" of uncle invasions from her parents.  She loves the classes and her favourite activity is doing forward rolls on the carpet while the rest of the kids are clapping to the rythm

<-- Best photo moment ever, I fell asleep while JX was learning how to lick her nose






Swimming was next on the list! As the scorching weather drained enegry from the parents, I decided to bring out her bathing tub and taught her how to wash my face.  The lesson went pretty well except I forgot to wear my googles

Nap time was next on the agenda as we know sleep is an essential for growing kids as they rest to generate new cells aiding their growth while charging batteries to execute the impossible (i.e. getting on top of the dressing table using SOC low wall technique)  But what do we know... JX refused to sleep despite her dosage of nappy milk~ She sang, she screamed, she pulled, she kicked and she did a AKUMA "天" on ME!  My dreaded task of clearing her soiled diaper!  1 hand onto her waist, another pinching my nose, officership training prepared me for well and she was back into stand by bed standards~  Still then, she didnt want to sleep....  I was desperate... brought her out, strapped her onto the car seat, put up with 92.4FM,  dropped the temperature and blasted the air conditioning into her face.  One round within NUS, KO...mission accomplished

I kinda earned 2 hours of peace and snoozed a while.

I was looking forward to my Dao Hua dessert after dinner at Ghim Mo hawker centre.  Queuing and squeezing with crowds turns me off, I guess I would be visiting the place more often =)

As the clock ticks closer towards 9-ish, bedtime is the most challenging osbtacle for the CHEE family.  Both Amber and me have to act BORING.  Come on... with such an awesome pair of parents, do you know it is virtually impossible for us to be dull.

Nonetheless, mission first!  Amber and me were on watch after feeding her "Knock-out" milk ensuring her head was stuck onto the pillows and butt on the floor.  JX is a cunning one...she faked sleep and leopard crawled out of the room a few times when the parent shift briefed during toilet breaks.  No choice...Operation Blackout was activated

5 mins, nothing to do, nothing to see, 2 parents lying on the floor, the next best thing was to join them before uncle catches her snooping ard the house unsupervised.

Not bad for a weekend, especially on Father's Day.  Only number 1 eh~ number 2 is coming along.  Parenthood is a marathon or long term warfare (akin to Korean Penisular) which one have to be always on their toes and met out the necessary judgement and action.

I'm loving every moment together with my wife because I have the best Deputy ever! With that Happy Father's Day to every father out there! I had fun documenting this article tonight because I am going to tickle JX nose later.

Amber, you are the best! World best =)

Anger Management

It has always been a fact that I aint the best tempered individual. I have been known to flare up with everyone running for shelter and it really aint a pleasant sight... so much so that I get shocked at myself

The nature of my job requires me to suppress emotions, keep thy cool and swallow bitter pills and I think I have done quite a good job for the past 10 years taking orders and executing them only asking questions later (or maybe never)

Maybe knowledge and exposure have eroded my passion for soldiering. Having always prided myself as an officer, my duty is to lead, excel and overcome... I have to self motivate in order to motivate others. But a short summary of my career, I really dont think I had a pleasant, enriching experience as I would have wanted.

PC Tour - garnered 16 x extra duties and given posting orders 1 week before without consultation or choice

Staff Tour - Took over vacant post by ex regular who left earlier, learnt ropes from not so correct training development officer, superior actually pang toh-ed me to do what she had preferred without proper guidance. Took over OC command from regular who is not interested in serving and left

OC Tour - Issued orders upon 2 hours arriving, upper study did nothing for me to pick up ropes. Steep learning curve for NDP 2010. Massive / Messy project without proper KM and documentation with a backlog of unaccounted equpiment, highlighted to upper management but lukewarm reaction. Nil engagement on next pending posting

PSO Tour - Took over a branch that only have 2 headcount... inherited a system that do not have a proper sustenance plan. Rules evolve and change to suit the wind of changes.

Highlighted above are the whines and complains I have.... but of course, the silver lining is that I have always managed to get competant soldiers and commanders whom are willing to give them best. I am proud to be able to garner their support and maintain spirits while we trudge through the confusion and exasperation. I have learnt much from them that one will give their all not 100% due to commitment to defence but for own personal mastery and pride.

To be very frank, the ones that kept me going were my NSFs that served with me. They showed me the appreciation and acknowledgement I secretly yearned for.

I am angry. Care for soldier.... who had cared for me? I have tried my best to keep my spirits up.... but when I kept getting blows after blows, treated like a digit, its but human to feel low and out.

I have came to a point where I suspect that its not others that have been ill treating me, but its myself who is really the problem. I am not as capable as I deemed to be, not as confident and competant as an commissioned officer. One thing i learnt from my wife is no one can excel in every area. I admit, I am not good in the area of Human Resource (within SAF)...This is a dangerous realm to tread into when a man nearing his mid life crisis starts suspecting his own abilities. The next best thing is to actually change the environment

So what am I actually angry with? The people who have pinned me down and ignored me? The system that processed me as a common digit? Unfair / unequal treatment, judgement ?

Most of the time, I am more like angry with myself. I feel that I have more to contribute and able to if i had got the guts and exposure to speak up. Not like some common plain dick who is a code monkey churning out templates and following blindly

The past few weeks I have been acting strangely... down-playing all the inefficienies, counselling individuals who have complaints about certain processes / procedures. Am I less angry and finally got anger management classes in place?
Nope, dont think so. I am quite disturbed till the extend I kind of throw in the flag.... because with my backlog of experience, it just shows that I am either
1) not so capable of solving the inefficiencies
2) Too emotionally backlogged that I am at a blockade preventing me to see the real problem and actiing on it
3) Trying to move on with my life and do what is right while not burning bridges

I still have that fire. To improve, to challenge and to show the world what I am capable of. Not just anyone.... someone.... there... for

I am the one you can rely on, father of 2, husband of one,
I am PATRICK

Having a good memory.. Bane or Bless ?

Just watched a farewell video for one of my fellow colleague... it made me wonder about my previous Command tours.

I resumed service with the mental thought that its gonna be a hellish journey with all kinds of nonsensial requests and deadlines. Looking back, i would have to agree some times its like that, most of the time, its peppered with heart wrenching goodbyes.

"I wana ensure every men under me learnt something about life and became a better person than he / she had ever been."

Statistically-wise, I wont say I scored a perfect 10, maybe a hit rate of 70 - 80% We come from many places all across the land... Its quite challenging, yet fufilling to had had the chance to "fathered" so many individuals during my command. So many of them now graduated, careers, fathers... goodness... time really flew

How many names can you remember in your life? As a PC I thought 30 names was a challenge, as an OC I thought 90 was another challenge... but time and again I had been proven wrong. I still remember every single individual whom came across my command, I wonder if they still remember mine =)

Till date, I have said countless goodbyes... and some of which, were really quite memorable, some unbearable but always with a tinge of loss. I dont think I can with stand much more of friends leaving...