Routine

Its been a while ... the limited fans may ask what have I been up recently? Embarking on those lonely rides down the suburbs? Trashing amist the crowds looking for new partners for company? Or as usual comtempating with the Yes or No we have with life? As a matter of fact, I have been living a routine.

Ought to have like 2 months ago, I forsake those thoughts. Maybe its the approach, maybe its the personality, I think must be the face! Anyway, it doesnt really matter at all now. But the only mystery that had left be pondering for a while... "Am I really that repulsive?". For that, I'll never know.

Fate is mesmerizing, fate is uncanny, fate is cruel. Like an injured creature, I threw myself in a corner pacifying oneself on its injured ego. When I heard my prev love got hitched ... there was this crushing blow of defeat that overwhelmed me. To think I totally convinced myself that I can get over, but I guess I am nothing but human... I still cant forget the first, much less the second. Maybe I havent moved on as yet, maybe I am weak emotionally, or till now I havent stop facing my nemisis "Lonliness"

Lets come back to my routine. As a typical geeky engineering undergrad, I just totally love to indulge myself with the hectic 8 - 5 lecture stints, together with tutorials and not forgetting to place the icings the lab sessions and reports. WOW! Exciting eh? As I finished with the sentence, my heart should had *plopped* hit rock bottom... but I guess I have got used to it. There have been scientific experimentations on slowly heating a frog in a bowl of water and in turn cooking it alive. I am way too tough than the frog... I will place the guy who even thought of putting me in the pot into the grinder, faster and efficient.

Living a life I call my own... to complete the bond. This excuse is the ultima I give for everything I failed to hold on to. My temper, my moods, my mates, my love. As for now, to live a life... making everything as monotonous and dull as possible. Because when things hit rock bottom.... there's only 1 way to go and its up.

Lets see what fate holds, I dun think I am in the best state of mind to say anything as yet.

PatriX